Life sure is strange. The cycles that we go through are amazing (if we’re blessed with a long enough life to experience them).
First our children believe that we know everything. They’ll ask us about anything and everything – and hopefully we’re not like Calvin’s (Calvin and Hobbes) dad and make up ludicrous answers. Hopefully we provide them with good information. Then as they get older, they decide we must know absolutely nothing. Then, sometimes, if we haven’t totally alienated them, they realize we may know some useful information. And then in their memories, when we’ve passed, they may come to realize we were actually pretty wise.
Another cycle I’m experiencing with my older children (with the span between the oldest and youngest – I get to do everything twice) is that when they were young…I was happy to watch them try anything. It gave my heart joy to watch them attempt things. Especially to compete. Then as they became accomplished at the activity (sports mostly) I was even impressed with them. They did some amazing stuff! I bought a new video camera to capture it so I could replay it again and again! They in turn would attend some of my sporting events and be amazed at dad. Then as they got older, I was still impressed with them while they slowly decided that dad was too old to play anything well. So of course, I had to prove myself. I offered them $10 for any time they beat me at a 1-on-1 sport (or game). Ping pong, tennis, basketball, volleyball (granted this is hard to play 1-on-1, chess, etc. So far I’ve had to pay Alyssa for chess and Kristopher for Ping Pong. I still haven’t lost to Kristopher in Basketball (although he SHOULD win).
So, it was with a happy heart that recently I earned my kids’ respect and admiration (?) without having to beat them. We played in the YMCA coed volleyball league – Kristopher, Alyssa, me, and three others we are friends with (all girls). Well, Kristopher, being 6’4 is “supposed” to be awesome, right? When he blocks it’s a thing of beauty…especially when he’s reaching 3 feet into the opponent’s court. Alyssa isn’t supposed to be able to hit on a “men’s” size net…but hey – she did! And she served great (as did Kristopher). She also set well when needed and was great on defense. Kristopher had some momentous shots and they both served their share of aces.
But, wait, the cycle I wanted to talk about was when they noticed dad.
So, I’m old. Granted. I’m slower. Granted. I don’t jump as high. Granted. But hey, sometimes, God grants us the ability to remember our younger days.
On the first serve of the championship match (the other team sported three guys, three girls. One of the girls was 6’1 and a was a former Varsity player for Michigan State Volleyball), Kristopher served a hard topspin. The former varsity player attempted to pass it but it rebounded off her platform too far and too high, right toward our side of the court. Since I was front row, and I was actually well focused – I leaped at the perfect time, and crushed the overpass back into the opponents court. Inside the 10’ line. Two of their players closed their eyes and were rewarded with the ball missing them. It bounced off the floor and then back close to the ceiling. Definitely and great start to the match. My team was pumped! They cheered. They slapped my back. But the best part was my 20 year old daughter who looked a little shocked. She said, “I’m on this side of the net, and that scared me!”
There is no joy like that of impressing your kids.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Finding Old Friends
Finding what is lost definitely provides an emotional high. Being absent-minded, I have many opportunities to enjoy the exhilaration of finding what was lost. This is true of money in summer pants pockets, a book or DVD, or even a pair of earphones. I lose a lot of things. Other losses are permanent. My dad, coming on four years ago, was a devastating loss. But, luckily, most things I lose, are eventually found again. And most times upon finding those things I experience great joy.
One of the things, over the last 25 years I've lost are friends.
Finding them (or them finding me) can be exciting...but it can also be scary. I find that I have not only a generally bad memory, I also have selective memory. My older brother seems to remember everything from his (and my) youth, while I am afflicted with very limited memories. So, I find it a bit nerve racking when I encounter someone I haven't seen or heard from in nearly a quarter century! Will we still get along? Will we still be friends?
It seems they have the same fears and uncertainties and doubts (FUD in AF jargon). Sometimes I wonder if it would be better to just leave the past behind us...and not find any old friends. I definitely don't want to participate in any of those HS reunions I see featured in a myriad of TV shows! I wouldn't remember anyone except my best friends, Eddie Diaz for one. Eddie I'd love to find, to see how he's doing. To reconnect. Others? Not so sure. But hey, it might be fun. Once you get past the FUD, it's kind of nice to remember you had a past...
And while I know that we, as creatures will always imagine the worst in lieu of factual information (hence the danger of partial information sharing and rumors), I'm finding that it's not all that bad when we run into an old long lost friend.
Unlike the food I found that I had put in a coat pocket over a year ago...
One of the things, over the last 25 years I've lost are friends.
Finding them (or them finding me) can be exciting...but it can also be scary. I find that I have not only a generally bad memory, I also have selective memory. My older brother seems to remember everything from his (and my) youth, while I am afflicted with very limited memories. So, I find it a bit nerve racking when I encounter someone I haven't seen or heard from in nearly a quarter century! Will we still get along? Will we still be friends?
It seems they have the same fears and uncertainties and doubts (FUD in AF jargon). Sometimes I wonder if it would be better to just leave the past behind us...and not find any old friends. I definitely don't want to participate in any of those HS reunions I see featured in a myriad of TV shows! I wouldn't remember anyone except my best friends, Eddie Diaz for one. Eddie I'd love to find, to see how he's doing. To reconnect. Others? Not so sure. But hey, it might be fun. Once you get past the FUD, it's kind of nice to remember you had a past...
And while I know that we, as creatures will always imagine the worst in lieu of factual information (hence the danger of partial information sharing and rumors), I'm finding that it's not all that bad when we run into an old long lost friend.
Unlike the food I found that I had put in a coat pocket over a year ago...
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Change for the Better!
Lent. It’s better than New Year’s! Seriously!
I’d much rather have a “season” than one day. Lent goes on for forty days!
I’d much rather have a celebration based on religious grounds than the fact that 365.25 days have expired since the last celebration for the same reason.
I’d much rather make goals to change something to show my love for another than to make those changes because, well, 365.25 days have passed since my last resolution.
Lent is awesome! It’s a time for reflection, for looking deep inside and seeing the ugly part of ourselves. Not to degrade ourselves, but to improve ourselves. We look inside and see what’s ugly. If that’s too hard, I mean if you think you’re perfect, or just can’t decided what you want to change…I have an easy trick to employ. If you were to die today, and be blessed by finding yourself approaching Peter at heaven’s gates…and you see a large sign above the gates – “What do you need to confess?”…what would you say? I mean, you have to figure out, before you get to Peter, what in your life would God have some issue with? The sins you can choose from are well documented.
There are the Seven Deadly Sins (the Denzel Washington movie “Fallen” still gives me the creeps…hate the ending! And now I hate the song, “Time is on my side”); Lust, Pride, Wrath, Sloth, Greed, Envy, and Gluttony are usually enough for me. The trick is figuring out what thing you do, or say, or think which would fall under the wide brush stroke these seven sins paint. Do you look longingly at Beyonce? Do you get angry with your kids because they’re not living up to your expectations? Are you doing anything to excess? How about to the point where you are neglecting other important parts of your life? Are you spending too much time on the sand and not enough on the Golf Balls?
So, you would think it would be easy to identify our sins. But, I still find it tough, come this time of year to decide what to eliminate from my life. Yes, from my LIFE. Kristine and I have a long tradition of picking one thing to “give up” and one thing to “do.” The thing I usually try to give up is something I want to remove from my life. One thing each year…by the time I’m 80 (if I live that long) I should be a much better person! Since it takes 30 days to create or stop a habit…the forty days of Lent is perfect!
Some past Lenten efforts (most have stuck)
• I’ve stopped putting sugar on my food.
• I’ve stopped putting salt on my food
• I’ve stopped eating for the night at 7 PM
• Not watching TV (I watch but a LOT less than I used to)
• Keeping my eyes where they belong :-)
I also have started doing new things based on Lenten efforts
• Exercising daily (nope that didn’t stick)
• Actively Listening to my wife (nope)
• Eating 1 piece of fruit daily(this is a big improvement …and it has stuck)
• Eating healthier (kind of stuck)
Those are the ones that come to mind readily. So, the point is, we all have weaknesses, flaws, and we all commit sins. The idea has always been to stop doing the things we are ashamed of, the things that we don’t want to have to tell Peter about. And start doing the things we know are good for us, and good for our families. This should include doing good (and stop doing bad) things for our physical, mental, and spiritual health.
Even if you don’t fast and pray during Lent, you can benefit from the life-changing opportunity. You’ll be able to keep doing the good (new habit) and stop doing the bad (stop bad habits) for ever more!
So, what would you stop doing? What would you start doing?
I’d much rather have a “season” than one day. Lent goes on for forty days!
I’d much rather have a celebration based on religious grounds than the fact that 365.25 days have expired since the last celebration for the same reason.
I’d much rather make goals to change something to show my love for another than to make those changes because, well, 365.25 days have passed since my last resolution.
Lent is awesome! It’s a time for reflection, for looking deep inside and seeing the ugly part of ourselves. Not to degrade ourselves, but to improve ourselves. We look inside and see what’s ugly. If that’s too hard, I mean if you think you’re perfect, or just can’t decided what you want to change…I have an easy trick to employ. If you were to die today, and be blessed by finding yourself approaching Peter at heaven’s gates…and you see a large sign above the gates – “What do you need to confess?”…what would you say? I mean, you have to figure out, before you get to Peter, what in your life would God have some issue with? The sins you can choose from are well documented.
There are the Seven Deadly Sins (the Denzel Washington movie “Fallen” still gives me the creeps…hate the ending! And now I hate the song, “Time is on my side”); Lust, Pride, Wrath, Sloth, Greed, Envy, and Gluttony are usually enough for me. The trick is figuring out what thing you do, or say, or think which would fall under the wide brush stroke these seven sins paint. Do you look longingly at Beyonce? Do you get angry with your kids because they’re not living up to your expectations? Are you doing anything to excess? How about to the point where you are neglecting other important parts of your life? Are you spending too much time on the sand and not enough on the Golf Balls?
So, you would think it would be easy to identify our sins. But, I still find it tough, come this time of year to decide what to eliminate from my life. Yes, from my LIFE. Kristine and I have a long tradition of picking one thing to “give up” and one thing to “do.” The thing I usually try to give up is something I want to remove from my life. One thing each year…by the time I’m 80 (if I live that long) I should be a much better person! Since it takes 30 days to create or stop a habit…the forty days of Lent is perfect!
Some past Lenten efforts (most have stuck)
• I’ve stopped putting sugar on my food.
• I’ve stopped putting salt on my food
• I’ve stopped eating for the night at 7 PM
• Not watching TV (I watch but a LOT less than I used to)
• Keeping my eyes where they belong :-)
I also have started doing new things based on Lenten efforts
• Exercising daily (nope that didn’t stick)
• Actively Listening to my wife (nope)
• Eating 1 piece of fruit daily(this is a big improvement …and it has stuck)
• Eating healthier (kind of stuck)
Those are the ones that come to mind readily. So, the point is, we all have weaknesses, flaws, and we all commit sins. The idea has always been to stop doing the things we are ashamed of, the things that we don’t want to have to tell Peter about. And start doing the things we know are good for us, and good for our families. This should include doing good (and stop doing bad) things for our physical, mental, and spiritual health.
Even if you don’t fast and pray during Lent, you can benefit from the life-changing opportunity. You’ll be able to keep doing the good (new habit) and stop doing the bad (stop bad habits) for ever more!
So, what would you stop doing? What would you start doing?
Monday, February 1, 2010
To Change One’s Life
So, how do we go about changing our lives? One method is to set goals and slowly, consistently move from where we are today to somewhere else. To do so, requires more than just another “to-do list.” It requires creating a life-changing vision.
When I work with clients (friends really) and help them set a personal vision – I look for the rare, special case. The person who wants to do more than just change their own lives – they want to change the world. That’s a big part of my vision – to change the world by helping at least 10 others change the world. In that case I am an enabler, a magnifier, a multiplier.
Personally, I’m trying to also change my life for the better. While a world-changing vision definitely leads to a changed life, even before I create such a vision I’m always looking for ways to improve and change for the better. My wife has created enormous change in me over the 25 terrific years of our marriage. She’s changed my habits (something I find near impossible to do on my own). She’s changed my eating habits (I actually do NOT put granulated sugar in or on anything anymore. I eat vegetables I wouldn’t even look at in the past – Love my broccoli. I pretty much avoid sodas.) She’s changed my relationship with God…through prayer and patience, I moved from the vague status of “a believer” to a practicing Catholic (have to keep practicing…it’s the hardest thing I can find to get right)! But there are some things I want to change that she doesn’t really seem to care about me changing. There are things I want to achieve that are not hot on her list.
That’s understandable. I can live with that (hopefully). But what that means is that I have to do this on my own. I want to basically do some of the important things on my goal list. Like get healthier, better use my free time (like by writing on this Blog vs. watching TV), and get back to my arts. I want to get back to drawing. And I have, currently, three books in work.
I’ve learned that a big part of making my goals come true is to find out how and when to say “no.” I say “yes” too often, too easily. There is so much to do, so much to achieve. So many people that need help. But to get things done…to succeed, I have to actually learn to say “no” occasionally. To stay focused. Not to allow myself to become distracted. I realized that was the secret to my spiritual health, that I needed to avoid being distracted away from God. To achieve my goals – will require a similar focus. So, as mentioned by Jim Collins (Good To Great) at a conference, to get it right, make a “Stop Doing List.” And then, as hard as we work to check off the things on our to-do list, we need to focus and stop doing the things that are not essential. For a definition of essential, for the things that we want on our to-do list, see the previous post on Golf-balls…
The best athletes regularly find themselves “in the zone” – a heightened focus where the world moves in slow motion, vision is super clear, and there are NO distractions. Seek this zone and achieve greatness – not in sports but in achieving any goal.
When I work with clients (friends really) and help them set a personal vision – I look for the rare, special case. The person who wants to do more than just change their own lives – they want to change the world. That’s a big part of my vision – to change the world by helping at least 10 others change the world. In that case I am an enabler, a magnifier, a multiplier.
Personally, I’m trying to also change my life for the better. While a world-changing vision definitely leads to a changed life, even before I create such a vision I’m always looking for ways to improve and change for the better. My wife has created enormous change in me over the 25 terrific years of our marriage. She’s changed my habits (something I find near impossible to do on my own). She’s changed my eating habits (I actually do NOT put granulated sugar in or on anything anymore. I eat vegetables I wouldn’t even look at in the past – Love my broccoli. I pretty much avoid sodas.) She’s changed my relationship with God…through prayer and patience, I moved from the vague status of “a believer” to a practicing Catholic (have to keep practicing…it’s the hardest thing I can find to get right)! But there are some things I want to change that she doesn’t really seem to care about me changing. There are things I want to achieve that are not hot on her list.
That’s understandable. I can live with that (hopefully). But what that means is that I have to do this on my own. I want to basically do some of the important things on my goal list. Like get healthier, better use my free time (like by writing on this Blog vs. watching TV), and get back to my arts. I want to get back to drawing. And I have, currently, three books in work.
I’ve learned that a big part of making my goals come true is to find out how and when to say “no.” I say “yes” too often, too easily. There is so much to do, so much to achieve. So many people that need help. But to get things done…to succeed, I have to actually learn to say “no” occasionally. To stay focused. Not to allow myself to become distracted. I realized that was the secret to my spiritual health, that I needed to avoid being distracted away from God. To achieve my goals – will require a similar focus. So, as mentioned by Jim Collins (Good To Great) at a conference, to get it right, make a “Stop Doing List.” And then, as hard as we work to check off the things on our to-do list, we need to focus and stop doing the things that are not essential. For a definition of essential, for the things that we want on our to-do list, see the previous post on Golf-balls…
The best athletes regularly find themselves “in the zone” – a heightened focus where the world moves in slow motion, vision is super clear, and there are NO distractions. Seek this zone and achieve greatness – not in sports but in achieving any goal.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Smile!
"Life is what you make it. Always has been, always will be. " — Eleanor Roosevelt
Gotta’ love Eleanor.
I find this to be true…how you feel, what happens to you, and your happiness can all be controlled by you. Yes, controlled. I hear all the time (in my metrics work) that “we don’t have control” over this or that.”
I don’t buy it.
We may not be able to orchestrate and control external events, like catastrophes (the earthquake that hit Haiti) or small events like snow falling. But…we have total control over how we react to them. How we choose to deal with the things that come our way. Granted, it would take the greatest Zen master to deal well with much of what is happening in our world…but the point is, we CAN do it…it’s just difficult.
So, lately, I’m having a great life. My book is published and I’m playing with ways to get the word out. I founded a consortium for IT Standards – you can call me “Mr. President.” Our youth group is growing – from 4 to 5 and hopefully many more. We have two beautiful young children (3 and 4 yrs old) and our older children are doing well. My older daughter is once again on the Dean’s list and is excelling in her art. Life in general is good.
Of course, life could be bad. Haiti. Struggles with our newest family member (4 years of non-Kristine upbringing to overcome). Sickness (Kristine, Molly and Grace). Deaths of friends. Economics (bills and unexpected expenses).
What do you choose to dwell on? I find dealing with my own mind the most difficult part of staying away from sin. Can I choose to focus on the good and not dwell on the bad? Can I keep from being distracted from my God, family, and friends? Can I avoid the addictions of sin?
Tough things…but what great rewards for success! A happier existence!
Back to quotes. I find it amazing how we become the “owners” of words – or phrases. Shakespeare may be the greatest person when it comes to sheer volume of quotes, but that may be misleading. Most of his quotes are from his plays…not actually quotes from his conversations or speeches. I am currently reading my two books on Einstein (as per my goals) and one of them is “The New Quotable Einstein” by Alice Calaprice. It is interesting to see how small snippets of speech can carry such value and weight. Part of it is the source – the fact that Albert Einstein (AE) said it, makes it more weighty. As I believe any quote of a heroine would have on us. Part of it is the wisdom in the quote.
I don’t find every quote valuable…I pick and choose. I highlight the ones I find meaningful…the ones that touch me. They are tools for helping me focus my energies. They keep me from getting distracted. They also are really cool to put on the bottoms of emails or to quote at the right time in a conversation or debate. It’s nice to be able to call on AE or Eleanor or Magic Johnson when needed for support of our position. Of course (Saint) Paul, (Saint) Peter, Mary, Jesus, and God (“People see God every day, they just don’t recognize Him” – Pearl Bailey) are great sources for quotes too. If you want to totally kiss up to your boss – quote him/her. “Mimicry is the greatest form of flattery” (unknown).
Gotta’ love Eleanor.
I find this to be true…how you feel, what happens to you, and your happiness can all be controlled by you. Yes, controlled. I hear all the time (in my metrics work) that “we don’t have control” over this or that.”
I don’t buy it.
We may not be able to orchestrate and control external events, like catastrophes (the earthquake that hit Haiti) or small events like snow falling. But…we have total control over how we react to them. How we choose to deal with the things that come our way. Granted, it would take the greatest Zen master to deal well with much of what is happening in our world…but the point is, we CAN do it…it’s just difficult.
So, lately, I’m having a great life. My book is published and I’m playing with ways to get the word out. I founded a consortium for IT Standards – you can call me “Mr. President.” Our youth group is growing – from 4 to 5 and hopefully many more. We have two beautiful young children (3 and 4 yrs old) and our older children are doing well. My older daughter is once again on the Dean’s list and is excelling in her art. Life in general is good.
Of course, life could be bad. Haiti. Struggles with our newest family member (4 years of non-Kristine upbringing to overcome). Sickness (Kristine, Molly and Grace). Deaths of friends. Economics (bills and unexpected expenses).
What do you choose to dwell on? I find dealing with my own mind the most difficult part of staying away from sin. Can I choose to focus on the good and not dwell on the bad? Can I keep from being distracted from my God, family, and friends? Can I avoid the addictions of sin?
Tough things…but what great rewards for success! A happier existence!
Back to quotes. I find it amazing how we become the “owners” of words – or phrases. Shakespeare may be the greatest person when it comes to sheer volume of quotes, but that may be misleading. Most of his quotes are from his plays…not actually quotes from his conversations or speeches. I am currently reading my two books on Einstein (as per my goals) and one of them is “The New Quotable Einstein” by Alice Calaprice. It is interesting to see how small snippets of speech can carry such value and weight. Part of it is the source – the fact that Albert Einstein (AE) said it, makes it more weighty. As I believe any quote of a heroine would have on us. Part of it is the wisdom in the quote.
I don’t find every quote valuable…I pick and choose. I highlight the ones I find meaningful…the ones that touch me. They are tools for helping me focus my energies. They keep me from getting distracted. They also are really cool to put on the bottoms of emails or to quote at the right time in a conversation or debate. It’s nice to be able to call on AE or Eleanor or Magic Johnson when needed for support of our position. Of course (Saint) Paul, (Saint) Peter, Mary, Jesus, and God (“People see God every day, they just don’t recognize Him” – Pearl Bailey) are great sources for quotes too. If you want to totally kiss up to your boss – quote him/her. “Mimicry is the greatest form of flattery” (unknown).
Check out some favorite quote generators (in no particular order):
- Eleanor Roosevelt
- Albert Einstein
- Pearl Bailey
- Yogi Bera
- Mae West
- Aristotle
- Plato
- Saints (Augustine, Paul, Peter, Mary, etc.)
- Jesus / God (use quotes from Bible)
- Martin Luther King
- Padre Pio
- Fr. Hesburgh
- Mother Teresa
So, to end – “Keep smiling - it makes people wonder what you've been up to.” Author Unknown
- Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
- A smile confuses an approaching frown. ~Author Unknown
- People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile. ~Lee Mildon
- Start every day with a smile and get it over with. ~W.C. Fields
- Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available. ~Jim Beggs
- A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. ~Charles Gordy (I’d change that to, “A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.”)
- Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. ~Mark Twain, Following the Equator
- If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. ~Andy Rooney
- If you smile at someone, they might smile back. ~Author Unknown
- Always remember to be happy because you never know who's falling in love with your smile. ~Author Unknown
- Everyone smiles in the same language. ~Author Unknown
- If you don't have a smile, I'll give you one of mine. ~Author Unknown
- I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful. ~Author Unknown
- Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles. ~George Eliot
- The shortest distance between two people is a smile. ~Author Unknown
- Wear a smile - one size fits all. ~Author Unknown
- Every day you spend without a smile, is a lost day. ~Author Unknown
- Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. ~Mother Teresa
- Beauty is power; a smile is its sword. ~Charles Reade
- A smile is the universal welcome. ~Max Eastman
- Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important. ~Janet Lane
- All the statistics in the world can't measure the warmth of a smile. ~Chris Hart
- If you would like to spoil the day for a grouch, give him a smile. ~Author Unknown
- Smile - it increases your face value. ~Author Unknown
- Peace begins with a smile. ~Mother Teresa
- A smile is a powerful weapon; you can even break ice with it. ~Author Unknown
OK…now to really end I’ll quote a favorite, “Too much of a good thing is wonderful.” (Mae West)
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Over Consumption
My metabolism has slowed over the last few years, and accordingly I’ve changed my eating habits. I no longer eat a whole pizza at one sitting. I’m working on not over consuming. I’ve also been working lately on my caloric intake, trying to lose a few pounds that I feel are more than I need. It’s been very interesting using Lose It an iPhone app to do so. What I find interesting is the focus it gives on your eating when you have to write (or input) everything down. While I haven’t lost those pounds yet, I have gained a new appreciation for the task of journaling – or tracking.
Another area I suffer over consumption in is tasks. I can think of a few others in my life that also suffer from this. Let me give you an example – here is what I am “involved” in, and the frequency
I got this from my brother's blog:
The mayonnaise jar and the coffee: When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the coffee...
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life."
The golf balls are the important things-your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else-the small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18 holes. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
I can’t find an author. It was sent as one of those “share it with a friend” emails.
My list of tasks above includes some of my passions – but not all of them. There are many things that I am not doing that I would like to. Those are reflected in my goal list. So, the point is…when we write these all down, we give it focus. We see where we spend out precious time. Are we spending it on the golf balls, pebbles, or the sand? Are we suffering from over consumption of sand and pebbles?
Another area I suffer over consumption in is tasks. I can think of a few others in my life that also suffer from this. Let me give you an example – here is what I am “involved” in, and the frequency
- Chess club (twice monthly)
- Lector Director (twice monthly + periodic crisis management)
- Liturgy Committee (monthly + tasks from it)
- Parish Council (monthly + tasks from it)
- Lector (monthly)
- Eucharistic Minister (monthly)
- Sunday School Teacher (weekly)
- Youth Group Ministry ( twice monthly)
- Parish Web Administrator (weekly)
- K4K Books (http://www.k4kbooks.com/) (weekly)
- Organizational Development Blog (http://www.organizational-improvement.com/) (every other month)
- Why Organizations Struggle So Hard to Improve So Little – our book (weekly)
- Writing a book on Metrics (monthly)
- Rewriting a novel (periodically)
- Consortium for the Establishment of IT Performance Standards (http://www.ceitps.org/) (daily)
- Life Coaching (4-5 individuals, weekly)
I got this from my brother's blog:
The mayonnaise jar and the coffee: When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the coffee...
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life."
The golf balls are the important things-your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else-the small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18 holes. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
I can’t find an author. It was sent as one of those “share it with a friend” emails.
My list of tasks above includes some of my passions – but not all of them. There are many things that I am not doing that I would like to. Those are reflected in my goal list. So, the point is…when we write these all down, we give it focus. We see where we spend out precious time. Are we spending it on the golf balls, pebbles, or the sand? Are we suffering from over consumption of sand and pebbles?
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
#33 is achieved!
Yes, I know. I'm still short 11 goals, but hey! I have to start working them now! I'm working on the Freerice donations (thanks Scott), and the CEITPS standards. But, hey! I have one down and 49 to go!
When I got home today, I was very happy to find a box in my place. Right size. From the right place. I cut off the straps, removed the tape, and opened the box to find my 7 free copies of my very first published book - "Why Organizations Struggle So Hard To Improve So Little: Overcoming Organizational Immaturity." Have to say I was a little proud to finally have our book in my hands. Of course, my lovely bride brought me back to Earth with her non-committal, unimpressed, "hmph." Thanks dear.
As my co-author has said more than once, it's really nice to have your work validated - to have someone (some company) think enough of your work to pay for it. And our publisher is, in the academic world, well known and respected. Even better!
So, if you want a copy, they should now be available. You can check out our website at http://www.org-immaturity.com and pick where you want to buy it. From the publisher directly, through Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble. You can also request your local book seller order you a copy.
No, I don't have any to sell. That's the other great benefit (other than validation and status) of being published - you don't have a trunk full of copies you have to sell.
I can do a full post on what I've learned about publishing - especially from starting K4K books...but that's for another time. Right now I'm basking in the happiness of having the book finally available to the public!
I'm going to sleep (it's late for old people like me) with a smile on my face.
When I got home today, I was very happy to find a box in my place. Right size. From the right place. I cut off the straps, removed the tape, and opened the box to find my 7 free copies of my very first published book - "Why Organizations Struggle So Hard To Improve So Little: Overcoming Organizational Immaturity." Have to say I was a little proud to finally have our book in my hands. Of course, my lovely bride brought me back to Earth with her non-committal, unimpressed, "hmph." Thanks dear.
As my co-author has said more than once, it's really nice to have your work validated - to have someone (some company) think enough of your work to pay for it. And our publisher is, in the academic world, well known and respected. Even better!
So, if you want a copy, they should now be available. You can check out our website at http://www.org-immaturity.com and pick where you want to buy it. From the publisher directly, through Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble. You can also request your local book seller order you a copy.
No, I don't have any to sell. That's the other great benefit (other than validation and status) of being published - you don't have a trunk full of copies you have to sell.
I can do a full post on what I've learned about publishing - especially from starting K4K books...but that's for another time. Right now I'm basking in the happiness of having the book finally available to the public!
I'm going to sleep (it's late for old people like me) with a smile on my face.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
