One of my 50 goals is to play 5 consecutive days of anger-free basketball. I don’t have this problem with chess or tennis singles. I don’t have anyone to get angry with but myself and I KNOW I will play worse if I let anger get in the way. I don’t even allow overly negative thoughts to intrude on my focus. I stay positive because I know that I play better. I do just fine in doubles – tennis or volleyball. I think because I KNOW I have to keep my partner “up” so that we play better. There’s only one other person to get angry at…and that makes it kind of personal. But basketball? Five-on-five? I lose it almost every time.
Not at my opponents (although fouling me – or teammates – simply because you are beat and there is no real negative to hacking gets under my skin from time to time), but at my teammates. Normally this is due to one of two things:
Either incompetence (in my opinion – definitely NOT humble opinion) from a player who I EXPECT more from. This is key. Our lunchtime ball is awesome. One of the reasons is we have some statesmen (who have been playing lunchtime ball for over 20 years) who make up the first teams (dividing the first 10 to arrive). The idea is to make as equal teams as possible. This means NO stacked teams. This means that sometimes you have a very weak player on your team. That really doesn’t bother me. And when our weaker player makes errors or gets beat – I actually encourage them very positively to keep trying! In fact, I’ve been complemented on my “coaching” of my teammates. BUT, when the teammate, is in my opinion “better” than they are playing…when a good player doesn’t play hard defense or doesn’t try. Or makes stupid plays. When a teammate doesn’t live up to my expectations…I tend to get frustrated. And that frustration then leads to anger.
The other case is when I have someone who insists playing a position or doing things that they are just not capable of – and although all things point to this…they continue to do so. For example an extremely poor three point shooter who, instead of doing what they do well, keeps heaving up three pointers which don’t even draw backboard (much less iron). OK. So, perhaps that’s not so bad either because as the point guard I take it upon myself not to give the opportunities for this to happen. In other words, I won’t give the poor three point shooter the ball behind the arc. But the one case that actually drives me crazy (is only committed by one person really) is when someone who is a horrible point guard insists on playing my position. Yup. It’s not ALL about me, but again, if someone keeps trying to play down low and is poor at it, I don’t have to give them the ball down there. But when a teammate runs over and stands in front of the person taking the ball out of bounds and demands the ball…what can I do? I can ask my teammates to NOT give him the ball. I can steal the ball from him (my teammate) – which may be pretty easy because I’m sure he won’t expect it. Or I can get angry.
Well, actually I haven’t come up with answers for either of the above. So, let me try – because for me to achieve my goal…I HAVE to find ways to stop getting angry. I’ve analyzed the situations when it happens…so now I must find ways to avoid or mitigate or eliminate those situations.
So, for the first case – expectation-based anger. Perhaps I’m giving some players too much credit. Perhaps I should be looking at every player as good, but not great. Stop thinking they know more than me (I KNOW I lack basketball smarts). Just start believing everyone is trying their best. AND that I can help them play better by encouraging them. Become a cheerleader on the court. This doesn’t mean being insincere…but to not assume or expect that my teammates are better than they are at that moment. Give them support. Give them honest, constructive criticism. Give them the benefit of the doubt and encouragement. I CAN DO THIS!
For the other case? This is much harder. I’ve tried letting others play point and just running up the court and playing small forward…and working extra hard. But…ow…this is really tough! I guess I could use suggestions. I’ve tried different tactics (asking the player if he wants to play point or if I can…and if they want to, I just focus on other roles…) and for the most part I think they’ve worked. So perhaps just keeping to that? Combining it with the first case solution may work.
But I’m open to suggestions.
