Tarzan he ain’t.

Nope, George of the Jungle crashed into trees as often as he swung from them. Perhaps one of the reasons we love cartoons so much is that they can do almost anything and survive (except for Judge Doom’s invention - Dip) – but of course, we’re not cartoons…and we’re not even in live-action movies made based on them. [Wow, this allows me to not only show Brendan Fraser (almost all of his movies are pure fun) but also Jessica Rabbit!]

All of this toon-based-fun is a preamble to something quite the opposite.

What a horrible feeling. Watching my 25 year-old son swing on a dead tree limb (it was hanging down like a rope) – because he had tried to pull it down and while doing so, found that he could swing to-and-fro on it. Starting from a stand still, he propelled himself off the tree trunk, pushing off with his legs and gaining altitude. He’d swing back toward the tree, cushion the impact with his legs, and push off again, changing direction. Soon after that he swung in a perpendicular arc…and as he reached the apex, the limb finally came free.

Unfortunately, he did a Joe Theisman landing (I purposefully chose not to use those photos). Breaking both bones in his left leg, just above the joint where it meets his foot.

Being a dutiful father, I didn’t laugh. I went to his aid. He was gingerly holding his leg, up by his knee (which he brought in front of him). I looked at the way his foot was laying askew, and told him I thought it was broken. He agreed.

We packed him into the van for the 5 minute ride to the emergency room.

Luck was on our side (the good kind…he had just had his fill of the bad kind). The emergency room was empty. He was seen immediately. Yup. Broken. Surgery at the earliest would be Tuesday to put some hardware in.

After searching for a good specialist – his near-uncle Tim recommended an Orthopedic (bone) surgeon in Saginaw. Well, actually, he asked this doctor if he knew of any good ones in South Bend area…but he didn’t. Also we weren’t sure my son’s insurance would be accepted “across the border.”

The doc in Saginaw suggested we send the x-rays (isn’t technology great?) so I downloaded them from the CD the ER gave us, and sent them via email to both Tim and the Doc. The doc offered to take care of it the next day (Monday).

ROADTRIP!

We shacked up at his Grandparents and waited for a call to see what time to get to the hospital. The call came in the morning, telling us to be there at noon. Tim came to St. Charles and led us to his hospital (he’s an ER doctor there). It was then that I had a flash-back to the military. Not because of the broken bones, the hospital smells (actually this place was very clean, wood floors in the rooms, and nice smiling people), but because of what every good military person knows about appointments. “Hurry Up and Wait.”

And wait.

7 PM he was finally wheeled into the OR preparatory room. About a half hour later he was taken to the operating room. Finally, I got to go eat. Of course it was worse for my son who wasn’t allowed to eat since midnight the night before. I at least had some breakfast. Tim and I shared a dinner at McDonald’s. Then back to waiting. After an hour or so, he was in recovery.

So, here I am on Tuesday (the day after) waiting (I already hurried up) to see if they will release him today or if I have to spend another night at the Grandparents and take him home tomorrow. I can deal with either. Love the grandparents. Miss wife and other kids. And my son is going through a LOT worse than I (basically I’m just waiting a lot).

Funny how much it hurts. Not physically of course – my son has the market on that…and the corner store on pain meds. No, I mean psychological. Of course, I could have told him to stop swinging on the dead branch. I could have told him it was a bad idea. I understand now how onlookers (and videographers) can stand by watching while young people produce new stupid stunts for “Jackass.” I did have the fleeting thought, “I’m sure he realizes it may break at any time and that he will fall to the ground. I’m sure he’s ready for it and will fall on his butt…”

No, none of that causes me pain. The pain is just from worrying how well he’ll recover. How his trip to Europe has to be postponed. How much all of this will cost him (his deductible and co-pay is very high – where is O’Bama’s health plan?). How he won’t be playing sports for a few months…and I worry that he won’t be as able as before.

Then again, I keep reminding myself that God has plans we don’t understand. And if this isn’t part of His plan, He can still use this circumstance to some good. It’s not what happens to you that defines you, it’s how you react. So far my son has reacted with strength, resolve, and a positive attitude.

I’m not surprised that he got here (although I was sure it would have been his buddy that would have done it) and I’m very proud of him for how he’s dealing with the situation.

Thanks to all of you for your prayers, concerns, and support. He’s been facebooking as much as possible…something about one-upping his uncle’s motorcycle accident.

Thanks to Tim especially for the referral, advice, and sitting with us all day on Monday. Thanks to the Grandparents for boarding, compassion, and food. Thanks to Dan for the advice. Thanks to Missy for the cookies. Thanks to Scott and Tara for helping, spending time with the Tarzan-wanabee, and driving him home.

Thanks to all of you.

It really is times of crisis that we are reminded of what friendship is all about.

Anger Management

One of my 50 goals is to play 5 consecutive days of anger-free basketball. I don’t have this problem with chess or tennis singles. I don’t have anyone to get angry with but myself and I KNOW I will play worse if I let anger get in the way. I don’t even allow overly negative thoughts to intrude on my focus. I stay positive because I know that I play better.

I do just fine in doubles – tennis or volleyball. I think because I KNOW I have to keep my partner “up” so that we play better. There’s only one other person to get angry at…and that makes it kind of personal. But basketball? Five-on-five? I lose it almost every time.

Not at my opponents (although fouling me – or teammates – simply because you are beat and there is no real negative to hacking gets under my skin from time to time), but at my teammates. Normally this is due to one of two things:

Either incompetence (in my opinion – definitely NOT humble opinion) from a player who I EXPECT more from. This is key. Our lunchtime ball is awesome. One of the reasons is we have some statesmen (who have been playing lunchtime ball for over 20 years) who make up the first teams (dividing the first 10 to arrive). The idea is to make as equal teams as possible. This means NO stacked teams. This means that sometimes you have a very weak player on your team. That really doesn’t bother me. And when our weaker player makes errors or gets beat – I actually encourage them very positively to keep trying! In fact, I’ve been complemented on my “coaching” of my teammates. BUT, when the teammate, is in my opinion “better” than they are playing…when a good player doesn’t play hard defense or doesn’t try. Or makes stupid plays. When a teammate doesn’t live up to my expectations…I tend to get frustrated. And that frustration then leads to anger.

The other case is when I have someone who insists playing a position or doing things that they are just not capable of – and although all things point to this…they continue to do so. For example an extremely poor three point shooter who, instead of doing what they do well, keeps heaving up three pointers which don’t even draw backboard (much less iron). OK. So, perhaps that’s not so bad either because as the point guard I take it upon myself not to give the opportunities for this to happen. In other words, I won’t give the poor three point shooter the ball behind the arc. But the one case that actually drives me crazy (is only committed by one person really) is when someone who is a horrible point guard insists on playing my position. Yup. It’s not ALL about me, but again, if someone keeps trying to play down low and is poor at it, I don’t have to give them the ball down there. But when a teammate runs over and stands in front of the person taking the ball out of bounds and demands the ball…what can I do? I can ask my teammates to NOT give him the ball. I can steal the ball from him (my teammate) – which may be pretty easy because I’m sure he won’t expect it. Or I can get angry.

Well, actually I haven’t come up with answers for either of the above. So, let me try – because for me to achieve my goal…I HAVE to find ways to stop getting angry. I’ve analyzed the situations when it happens…so now I must find ways to avoid or mitigate or eliminate those situations.

So, for the first case – expectation-based anger. Perhaps I’m giving some players too much credit. Perhaps I should be looking at every player as good, but not great. Stop thinking they know more than me (I KNOW I lack basketball smarts). Just start believing everyone is trying their best. AND that I can help them play better by encouraging them. Become a cheerleader on the court. This doesn’t mean being insincere…but to not assume or expect that my teammates are better than they are at that moment. Give them support. Give them honest, constructive criticism. Give them the benefit of the doubt and encouragement. I CAN DO THIS!

For the other case? This is much harder. I’ve tried letting others play point and just running up the court and playing small forward…and working extra hard. But…ow…this is really tough! I guess I could use suggestions. I’ve tried different tactics (asking the player if he wants to play point or if I can…and if they want to, I just focus on other roles…) and for the most part I think they’ve worked. So perhaps just keeping to that? Combining it with the first case solution may work.

But I’m open to suggestions.