Change for the Better!

Lent. It’s better than New Year’s! Seriously!

I’d much rather have a “season” than one day. Lent goes on for forty days!

I’d much rather have a celebration based on religious grounds than the fact that 365.25 days have expired since the last celebration for the same reason.

I’d much rather make goals to change something to show my love for another than to make those changes because, well, 365.25 days have passed since my last resolution.

Lent is awesome! It’s a time for reflection, for looking deep inside and seeing the ugly part of ourselves. Not to degrade ourselves, but to improve ourselves. We look inside and see what’s ugly. If that’s too hard, I mean if you think you’re perfect, or just can’t decided what you want to change…I have an easy trick to employ. If you were to die today, and be blessed by finding yourself approaching Peter at heaven’s gates…and you see a large sign above the gates – “What do you need to confess?”…what would you say? I mean, you have to figure out, before you get to Peter, what in your life would God have some issue with? The sins you can choose from are well documented.

There are the Seven Deadly Sins (the Denzel Washington movie “Fallen” still gives me the creeps…hate the ending! And now I hate the song, “Time is on my side”); Lust, Pride, Wrath, Sloth, Greed, Envy, and Gluttony are usually enough for me. The trick is figuring out what thing you do, or say, or think which would fall under the wide brush stroke these seven sins paint. Do you look longingly at Beyonce? Do you get angry with your kids because they’re not living up to your expectations? Are you doing anything to excess? How about to the point where you are neglecting other important parts of your life? Are you spending too much time on the sand and not enough on the Golf Balls?

So, you would think it would be easy to identify our sins. But, I still find it tough, come this time of year to decide what to eliminate from my life. Yes, from my LIFE. Kristine and I have a long tradition of picking one thing to “give up” and one thing to “do.” The thing I usually try to give up is something I want to remove from my life. One thing each year…by the time I’m 80 (if I live that long) I should be a much better person! Since it takes 30 days to create or stop a habit…the forty days of Lent is perfect!

Some past Lenten efforts (most have stuck)
• I’ve stopped putting sugar on my food.
• I’ve stopped putting salt on my food
• I’ve stopped eating for the night at 7 PM
• Not watching TV (I watch but a LOT less than I used to)
• Keeping my eyes where they belong :-)

I also have started doing new things based on Lenten efforts
• Exercising daily (nope that didn’t stick)
• Actively Listening to my wife (nope)
• Eating 1 piece of fruit daily(this is a big improvement …and it has stuck)
• Eating healthier (kind of stuck)

Those are the ones that come to mind readily. So, the point is, we all have weaknesses, flaws, and we all commit sins. The idea has always been to stop doing the things we are ashamed of, the things that we don’t want to have to tell Peter about. And start doing the things we know are good for us, and good for our families. This should include doing good (and stop doing bad) things for our physical, mental, and spiritual health.

Even if you don’t fast and pray during Lent, you can benefit from the life-changing opportunity. You’ll be able to keep doing the good (new habit) and stop doing the bad (stop bad habits) for ever more!

So, what would you stop doing? What would you start doing?

To Change One’s Life

So, how do we go about changing our lives? One method is to set goals and slowly, consistently move from where we are today to somewhere else. To do so, requires more than just another “to-do list.” It requires creating a life-changing vision.

When I work with clients (friends really) and help them set a personal vision – I look for the rare, special case. The person who wants to do more than just change their own lives – they want to change the world. That’s a big part of my vision – to change the world by helping at least 10 others change the world. In that case I am an enabler, a magnifier, a multiplier.

Personally, I’m trying to also change my life for the better. While a world-changing vision definitely leads to a changed life, even before I create such a vision I’m always looking for ways to improve and change for the better. My wife has created enormous change in me over the 25 terrific years of our marriage. She’s changed my habits (something I find near impossible to do on my own). She’s changed my eating habits (I actually do NOT put granulated sugar in or on anything anymore. I eat vegetables I wouldn’t even look at in the past – Love my broccoli. I pretty much avoid sodas.) She’s changed my relationship with God…through prayer and patience, I moved from the vague status of “a believer” to a practicing Catholic (have to keep practicing…it’s the hardest thing I can find to get right)! But there are some things I want to change that she doesn’t really seem to care about me changing. There are things I want to achieve that are not hot on her list.

That’s understandable. I can live with that (hopefully). But what that means is that I have to do this on my own. I want to basically do some of the important things on my goal list. Like get healthier, better use my free time (like by writing on this Blog vs. watching TV), and get back to my arts. I want to get back to drawing. And I have, currently, three books in work.

I’ve learned that a big part of making my goals come true is to find out how and when to say “no.” I say “yes” too often, too easily. There is so much to do, so much to achieve. So many people that need help. But to get things done…to succeed, I have to actually learn to say “no” occasionally. To stay focused. Not to allow myself to become distracted. I realized that was the secret to my spiritual health, that I needed to avoid being distracted away from God. To achieve my goals – will require a similar focus. So, as mentioned by Jim Collins (Good To Great) at a conference, to get it right, make a “Stop Doing List.” And then, as hard as we work to check off the things on our to-do list, we need to focus and stop doing the things that are not essential. For a definition of essential, for the things that we want on our to-do list, see the previous post on Golf-balls…

The best athletes regularly find themselves “in the zone” – a heightened focus where the world moves in slow motion, vision is super clear, and there are NO distractions. Seek this zone and achieve greatness – not in sports but in achieving any goal.