Finding what is lost definitely provides an emotional high. Being absent-minded, I have many opportunities to enjoy the exhilaration of finding what was lost. This is true of money in summer pants pockets, a book or DVD, or even a pair of earphones. I lose a lot of things. Other losses are permanent. My dad, coming on four years ago, was a devastating loss. But, luckily, most things I lose, are eventually found again. And most times upon finding those things I experience great joy.
One of the things, over the last 25 years I've lost are friends.
Finding them (or them finding me) can be exciting...but it can also be scary. I find that I have not only a generally bad memory, I also have selective memory. My older brother seems to remember everything from his (and my) youth, while I am afflicted with very limited memories. So, I find it a bit nerve racking when I encounter someone I haven't seen or heard from in nearly a quarter century! Will we still get along? Will we still be friends?
It seems they have the same fears and uncertainties and doubts (FUD in AF jargon). Sometimes I wonder if it would be better to just leave the past behind us...and not find any old friends. I definitely don't want to participate in any of those HS reunions I see featured in a myriad of TV shows! I wouldn't remember anyone except my best friends, Eddie Diaz for one. Eddie I'd love to find, to see how he's doing. To reconnect. Others? Not so sure. But hey, it might be fun. Once you get past the FUD, it's kind of nice to remember you had a past...
And while I know that we, as creatures will always imagine the worst in lieu of factual information (hence the danger of partial information sharing and rumors), I'm finding that it's not all that bad when we run into an old long lost friend.
Unlike the food I found that I had put in a coat pocket over a year ago...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
This is eery. I read your blog than I read yesterday's (Sunday's) NY Times magazine and the short essay at the end of the magazine is about finding an old friend from high school. It's supposed to be funny and cute. The subject matter sounds familiar (it didn't click right away that your blog essentially covered the same material). And I'm reading this thinking, hmm, I write better than this when I put a little effort into it. Maybe Marty and my college English professors were right. I should do this for real. We both could've written this essay better. So, I'll do what I promised and pick my favorite blogs, polish them up, and give them to my agent (Coach K) and see what transpires. Nothing like seeing weak competition to make you excited to exploit that weakness.
ReplyDelete