Thanksgiving is in the rear-view-mirror (you know because of all the new junk in your trunk) and the Advent season is upon us. Even if you don’t follow the Birth of Christ, you can get excited about the ramp up to the College Football Bowl Games!
Personally, I enjoy this time because I start my annual search for the “perfect” Christmas gift for my lovely wife. Each year we have some traditions about Christmas presents.
- We are NOT allowed to buy anything for ourselves after an agreed upon date in November (usually before Thanksgiving) – lest we ruin Christmas (not for ourselves but for the gift giver). I did this one year. I bought something after the deadline and OF COURSE, I got the exact same thing for Christmas. I’m still trying to live that error down.
- We (all of us) make “wish lists” so that we know what to get each other. Of course, the list isn’t all-inclusive nor is it mandatory that you get something off the list. I’ve been wanting to improve this process for awhile (no surprise there!). I mean, when I want to get someone something off the list, I have to check with the other adults in the house (there a total of four now!) to see if they already bought it! I don’t worry too much about the kids…I just ask the wife what we got them…but my wife’s list quickly gets filled and I’m left to get socks.
- The surprise – Part One. I don’t knowing everything I’m getting. I like a surprise. Of course, I run the risk of getting something I don’t really like. Then I have to smile and act like I like it. Regardless of how many times the wife says, “if you don’t like it you can return it and get something else” I KNOW BETTER! The temperature in the house drops at least 20 degrees if I say, “yup, that’s going back.” So, I’ve learned NOT to return anything. Of course if it doesn’t fit, or has a defect – I can return it and POSSIBLY change it slightly (like get the blue one instead of the bright pink).
- The surprise – Part Two. Because of my own feelings about knowing everything I’m getting, I project that on my wife too. I HAVE to find her a surprise gift. Something she didn’t ask for. Preferably something she WOULDN’T ask for! Something either too impractical or something she hadn’t thought about – EVER! Of course I run a big risk that she won’t like it. I understand that. But that’s the fun. The challenge.
I’ve learned a lot about my wife over the last 26+ years of marriage. I know not to surprise her with certain things. She doesn’t wear much jewelry. She likes to pick out her own clothes. She’s not much of a Techie. So, I have to search, dig, and hunt. It’s not easy…but it’s worth it. Even when I strike out and get her something that I know she doesn’t like (of course no matter how much I encourage her to return it, she won’t…instead it gathers dust under our bed or in the closet) – it’s worth it. She knows I love her. She knows all the work and effort I put into finding her the “perfect” gift.
At least that’s what I like to believe.
Knowing my wife (I really do!) – she’d actually (probably) be happier if I got only things from her list.
But hey – it’s a tradition.
So the hunt begins. Via the internet, via mall walks, via friends ideas. If any of you have any ideas…I’m all ears!
Dear Man in the Mirror,
ReplyDeleteI'm (almost) certain you wrote this piece tongue in cheek. Of course you realize that you and your wife (as you've described it) both get each of you gifts the other might not (and apparently don't) like - and both of you refuse to exchange the gifts for fear of upsetting the other - and so both of you simply store the unwanted, unreturned gifts in some out of the way location where you will likely never have to see it again. Doesn't this strike you as a bit odd? Your tradition might need a little help - and your closet might need a little cleaning. How about this - why not get a gag gift. Something she may not want or need but something that will make her, you and the rest of the family laugh a little. Use your imagination. You're always running around, right? Get Kris a (fake) pair of handcuffs to shackle you to the house once in a while. And maybe she can get you a Chinese cookbook. Also, it strikes me that Kris must not read your blogs - or surely I think you'd be walking with a limp.
Good hunting!
FOR JEFF:
ReplyDeleteJust got our internet connectivity back and had a chance to read your blog...I like it! I know what you mean about the surprise factor, but the nice thing is that we've finally gotten to the point in our family where we're all willing to return things without hesitation, which actually makes it easier to buy "risky" gifts that someone could either love or not care about (since you know that they won't stick it in a corner forever out of some sense of obligation).
Very Respectfully,
ENS Jeffrey D. Joyce
Thanks Jeff!
ReplyDeleteIrv, you're becoming way to analytical :-)
And of course she doesn't read my blog...she figures she gets more than enough of me live.